Finding Her Way

Last year was one of the worst years of my life. Everyone assured me that 2024 would be my year, that things would finally start looking up for me. I am very superstitious about New Years, it sets the tone for the rest of the year, so I always want to be in a good place when the clock strikes midnight. I started this year out on the wrong foot. New Year’s Eve was stressful, and New Year’s Day was not much better. I wrote about this in my last story, but I just moved to California. Things have been going wrong since the moment I got here. I couldn’t find a decent apartment, my roommates were shady, and I’ve been having all sorts of administrative problems with school. About two weeks ago, I was rear ended on the highway. No one was injured and the damage to my car was minimal, so I felt pretty lucky about that. The very next day, I got into an accident in a parking lot. The day after that I got so sick that I was bedridden for the majority of the day. 

I could keep recounting the bad things that have happened to me, but I want to pivot to something more positive. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since all of this happened. I struggled to wrap my head around what I could have done to deserve all of this, praying on my knees every night and asking God for answers. It’s taken me a while to realize that none of this has anything to do with me. Sometimes, you’re just unlucky. Things happen, and there’s nothing you can do to change the past. Every life experience is an opportunity to grow, and I’ve started to ask myself what I’ve learned from my experiences here. The lesson isn’t always clear, but that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing to be gleaned from this string of misfortune. I’ve learned how to trust my instincts, how to find joy in the little things, and how to forgive myself.