Contributing Writer: Aubrie Edmond

Coming home for the summer after being on my own for a while is a strange feeling. Waking up in my childhood bedroom every morning is jarring, I feel like I’m being jolted back in time. It always hits me like a truck that I’m older, it’s the first thing that I think of each time I wake up. I start thinking of my old dog, old friends, old memories. It’s strange to think about all the things I’ve outgrown, the people I can’t see and the places I can’t go anymore. I still hang out with all my friends from high school, the good ones at least. When everyone you know is excellent, anything you do will feel mediocre. All of them have done so much with their lives, I feel like I’m falling behind. I’m only twenty, but all the decisions I make feel so heavy and final. Everything I do is life-changing, every decision I make will last a lifetime, and it all feels doomed. I know it sounds dark writing it all out like this, but I think a lot of people my age feel this way. It’s hard not to. Our whole lives we’re told to work hard in high school so we can get into good colleges, then to work hard in college so we can have good careers, and finally to try hard at work so we can lead meaningful lives. It never ends, and we never get a break. But that can’t be all there is. Deep down I think we all know it isn’t. There’s no other way to explain that feeling you get when you stand in the silence of the woods, that quiet peaceful sensation that makes the world seem a little bit brighter for a while. That feeling when you laugh so hard your stomach hurts, of walking hand in hand with someone you love; those moments make it worth it, I think.